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* Akasha *
A gift from Dharmakaya.
It is the natural gift of desire, intention and attention ...
2011 ... Know Yourself.
2011 ... Struggle and at the end of this road, my joy ...
My dear friends,
I left two years ago for my quest "Who am I."
Now I am back, but not at the same place as where I started, everything is different and changed,
and that is the way it will be for ever and ever.
To be honest to you, I was not successful.
I was lost many times and went many times in the wrong direction.
But ask and you will get everything you need to go through in the right direction.
I was not able to find "myself" and I can tell you why I was not successful,
it was for a very simple reason, there is no "myself" at all !!!
He ... he ... he ... So simple as that.
I was looking for something that doesn't exist.
What I have "seen" is, that my not existing "myself" and "my-self" are each others opposite,
but they are not two, not even one, they are "all" and united in Universe.
I haven't learned anything, I haven't gained anything, I lost a lot and I am very happy with that.
For sure it was not a waist of time and energy.
It was worth each moment and all the effort, I enjoyed everything.
I was looking for something that does not exist. I was doing something what is impossible.
I am a part of the total, and the total is me. So I'm one with everything.
It is so simple, but the true is simple, because it is Reality.
I was looking for something what was already staring in my own face.
I was missing my "self", because I was always "making" something of my own "self".
What I have "seen", is that when I have less desire, I suffer less.
What I have "seen", is that when I put wellbeing of others around me before my own wellbeing,
I have much more joy.
What I have "seen", is that everything in live is "flux and flow".
What I have "seen" is that all what is subject to arising, is also subject to destruction.
What I have "seen", is that I have everything what I need, I have even more then I need.
What I have "seen", is that what we love, I must let free, I must not try to control it,
not try to form it, but let it free and it will grow and blossom.
Trying to control love, only creates a lot of pain.
What I have "seen", is that I own nothing. It is all given, I am just aloud to use it and must take care for it.
What I have "seen", is that my expectations are my problems, not my Reality.
I must try to stop looking for something to save me, something to stand under, to identify with,
to improve me, to make me whole.
I must abandon understanding and being understood.
I think so, and due the reason that I think, it all become an illusion again and not the Reality.
My whole quest was based on desire and due my desire I suffered.
So let me "see" from this moment and enjoy.
As you reach one destination of life's journey ... Another begins.
Namasté and warm greetings from Akasha,
11 December, 2011
May all people be happy.